Understanding Your Loved Ones

Your fun loving, out-going girl:
Realize she needs lots of people around
Recognize she thrives on new, creative activities
Understand that she will seek affection and attention, regardless of the consequences
Laugh with her and enjoy life together

Your serious, deep thinking girl:
Appreciate her ability to analyze everything
Understand she flees noisy, chaotic situations
Provide her a place of her own
Recognize her need for order and neatness
Accept her desire to not discuss her feelings

Your natural born leader:
Realize she doesn't need 'babying'
Provide something she can control
Recognize she thrives on projects, not relationships
Appreciate her ability to organize and accomplish her goals
Help her learn tact and diplomacy

Your calm, quiet peacemaker:
Spell out details on her responsibilities
Allow her time to rest and relax
Realize that she flees conflict and stress
Help her find an area of interest where she can excel
Understand she shows happiness in a reserved manner

What changes are you willing to make to enhance your relationships? How can you adjust your approach to create connections that count? What expectations of others will you change? by: Ruth Crow (reprinted)

It was so much fun...plus an honor to get to spend with with Florence Littauer...THE MOTHER OF PERSONALITIES, in Fort Worth. This lady is truly a remarkable woman. One who is willing to share her knowledge and experience with the world, all because she cares and knows that learning about the Personalities makes such a difference in peoples' lives!!!!

I am involved in a Bible Study each Tuesday called "A Mother's Heart". It is targeted to mothers who are still in the "child-rearing" stages of their lives. Each week the mothers share their stories of triumphs...(potty training successes etc.) and tragedies (sibling rivilary etc.) More and more and more, I am convinced that in order to parent successfully, the child must be dealt with according to his distinctive personality. A one size fits all parenting style does not lead to successful, well-adjusted children. What makes one child "shout for joy" may cause another to "want to crawl under the carpet". So, I encourage you to STUDY your child...discover what motivates and what DEFLATES them...Feed their emotional garden with the proper food...(encouragement, recognition, fun, peaceful environment etc.) whatever fits them best...and watch your child GROW...as a result of what you SOW into their lives.

I had fun presenting "The Personalities" to a group of Administrative Assistants recently. I received a card through the mail expressing appreciation for the presentation. Along with the thank-you...was this quote: "I can't wait to apply the gift you gave us. My husband will be putty in my hands."
This comment was funny, but SO TRUE. Learning to communicate from the "listener's" perspective can change relationships...(for the better) almost instantly.

Perscription for Communication Success

l. Learn to identify individual
personality types by observing:

a. Visible Clues

(what you see)

b. Variable Clues
(what you observe)

2. Apply as Needed:
a. Valuable Clues (emotional needs)

3. Enjoy meaningingful communication!!!

My Sanguine self......with my Phlegmatic daughter and Choleric hubby!!!

LIFE...after the BEACH!!!

You've got to love God's sense of humor.

And he indeed has one. Why else would he have created us so differently, yet expect us to live in harmony with one another? It's like the old song lyrics, "Some days are diamonds, some days are STONE". The diamond days are the ones where we can "look beyond" the behaviors of others and "consciously" reason within ourselves why "he or she" acted "such and such" way! The STONE days are the ones where we are "paralyzed" by another person's behavior. We simply CANNOT get past the behavior...itself. It leaves us totally Frustrated, Irritated, or just plain ANGRY. It is during these times that the understanding of the personalities can save us from a lot of frustration and strife. For example...After spending a week at the beach with my daughter, her friend, and one of my friends, we return back home to Dallas. My "hunk of burning love" was left alone for the week to care for himself...all alone!!! Well, I wish he would have struggled with this plight of being LEFT ALL ALONE. But, NO!!! Guess why??? He's CHOLERIC. Cholerics are FINE....and I do mean FINE being left alone. They are totally self-sufficient. They do not need other people to "talk to". Well, after a week at the beach I was full of information that I NEEDED to tell my hubby. So, when we got home...he greeted us at the door; helped us unload the car, asked, "how was the trip?" and before I could even answer he was off to "doing his own thing".
Now, years before in my marriage I would have smoldered for days and maybe even weeks with that seemingly "lack of interest" in me, his bride. However, I now, KNOW and can PREDICT with usually 100% accuracy what his reaction will be toward me when he has not seen me for one week or one year, it will always be the same. No surprises from the Choleric!! He is just not an emotional personality...His love and interest in me is just as great as the Sanguine guy who "can't get enough" of his wife after she has been gone for a week. It just happens that I married the CHOLERIC. Besides that........He's a great provider. I never have to worry if I am going to have food to eat or clothes to wear.....unlike Mr. Sanguine who spent all of his money while his wife was at the beach!!! Uh...well, I, myself am Sanguine...and I must admit, I spent some MONEY at the beach!!! Well, my Choleric husband hasn't gotten the credit card bill yet. Maybe that can be another post for another time. Arrrrhhhhh.....I hope he remembers how sweet I am and how much FUN I had at the beach!!! LOL

School DAZE Personalities

There's no better place to see The Personalities in play than at WAL-MART.

It's time to shop for school supplies. Mom is already worn out before she gets to Wally with the kids. They rush over to the School Supply aisle...and HERE you see the REAL personality of children in ACTION.

Playful Sanguine: looks for "cute" stuff...fun, decorative cover, and bright colors...so happy to be getting ready for school....excited...chatting with others about all the "cool" items available.

Powerful Choleric: Hurry up!!! Just get it...I need PAPER, PENCILS, MARKERS...that's all...that's fine!! Let's GO....I have things to do!!!

Perfect Melancholy: Looks at every item very careful. Examines the notebooks and checks to see how many pages in each. Makes sure the pencils and the pens are the EXACT thing requested on the school supply list. Checks and rechecks to see if everything is in the basket that was on the list. Goes back and checks ONE MORE time... just to MAKE SURE...everything is PERFECT.

Peaceful Phlegmatic: Leaning on the shopping basket. Says to mother, "I don't care just get something. It doesn't matter." While mom is picking out' everything...Peaceful Phlegmatic is "observing" what everyone else is doing...and is Actually, quite Content doing so!!!

The way a person is wired "shows up" in everything he/she does. Whether it is shopping for school supplies or groceries...The REAL personality is always there...prompting the individual to: Have a good time, hurry up, being very careful and deliberate, or Who cares..WHATEVER....