Saturday, March 20, 2010

It is NOT a ONE SIZE FITS ALL world we live in!!

My daughter is a darling girl. She is beautiful, kind, sweet, loving etc. etc. etc. Like the rest of us though, she has her own weaknesses. Her weaknesses happen to be the things that drive those close to her NUTS!!! The flip side of her wonderful loving sweet self is that she is more of a FREE Spirit...not highly motivated to perform at a rapid pace, does not like schedules or demands that might keep her from doing her "own" thing. She is also an "out of sight, out of mind" kind of girl. Time gets quickly away from her when she is enjoying time with a friend, on FB, or just Being....She often lives for the moment, doesn't stress over a mess and doesn't want anyone all up in her business. Now, you think, " how cool would it be to be so laid back and undemanding". Well, the thing that is NOT so cool about it is.........if you have a roommate, whether it be spouse, friend, sibling, mother, father etc. that is not at all like like my daughter. Personalities like my precious, sweet, little darling can really DRIVE YOU TO DISTRACTION if you don't understand what makes them tick and what ticks them off.

HOW??? WHY???

Here's the truth of the matter. :)

NEWS BREAK!! People are DIFFERENT!! HaHaHa. You say, "well, duh. We all know that".

Well, if we all KNOW that, then why do we ALL have so much trouble in our relationships???

Knowing and UNDERSTANDING are two different things!

So, here's the deal. My darling daughter has a college roommate. Her roommate is as cute and darling as my daugher. I love her dearly!!! But, these girls are SOOOOOOOOO Different.

The roommate is an Organized, prompt, get it done kind of girl. Roomie is also a planner and likes to know the details of the what, when, and where of things. Now, go back and read how I described my daughter. Do you see how there could be a problem here???

And Yes, there have been problems. My daughter STUFFS and her roommates ERUPTS...

Then comes the call, "Mom, I just don't know what to do"? dadadadadadadada

I listen. I listen some more. I smile. Then I say, "Sweetie, do you remember how Dad and I etc. etc. etc."

Actually, I am much more like her roommate. My daughter is much more like her Dad. So, I do a little reminding, a little comparing. Before long, she hangs up after our talk. I wait a few hours and text her something like this. "Well, how are things going"? Answer, "Oh Great, couldn't be better"? Me, "Well, what happened"? Daughter, "What are you talking about", Oh that, oh that was nothing".

I hang up. I smile again, and think to myself, "if we all had a true understanding of the Personalities, what we can expect from each other, and equipped with the tools of how to react according to all of our different "bents", there would be many more saying, "Oh... That was nothing".

The saying that "KNOWLEGE IS POWER" is so, so, so, so true. Knowledge is also freedom. Freedom to be yourself, but also freedom to let others be themselves too!!!

You CANNOT change another person. However, You CAN CHANGE your reactions toward another.
No one can MAKE you feel a certain way unless YOU allow them.

The ball is in YOUR court!! Play Smart.
Learn about the Personalities.

Study them:
Learn the Strengths and Weaknesses of each
Learn the Emotional Needs of Each
Give each what they need and you will be much more likely to get what you want.

Better Relationship!!

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