Being Me, Being Free by Marilyn Mansfield

"Why do I NOT do the things I DO NOT do"?

2011-11-10T10:11:00.008-06:00

Wow....shame on Me!! It have been well over a YEAR since I have posted anything on this blog!! That makes me angry at myself. However, I am NOT surprised, BECAUSE, I have a SANGUINE personality!! If you have read any of my posts, you know I write about Personality types. You'll remember...Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy, Phlegmatic??? Sure you do, Right? hahaha. Well, it is pretty obvious that I am either Sanguine or Phlegmatic, just by the mere fact I have not posted in such a long time. So, if you don't know me personally, you can most likely tell from my previous posts what personality I have, simply by "observing" how I write and by what I say and HOW OFTEN I SAY IT, which is NOT often enough on this blog. Therein lies, the "weakness or challenge" of my Sanguine Personality. You see, Sanguines want to have FUN, FUN, FUN. Sanguines also get "side-tracked" very easily and frequently, unless they have trained themselves not to. So, that is ME. Side-tracked and UNTRAINED, actually I want to change that word to UNdisciplined!! I am talking about "humans" here, not dogs!! haha.

So, this describes me. I get so EXCITED about a particular idea, plan, adventure!! I start out Gangbusters!! However, after a while, something else, (that is probably more fun) gets my attention, and I'll think, "Oh, I just do this such and such and I'll get back to that later", well, you know the REST OF THE STORY. Later becomes Later and Later, until Later Never comes!! I guess that's what happened with the blog. I put it off...and eventually, ceased to even think about it...UNTIL, this morning I got a notification that I had a comment on my blog!! Holy Cow!! My blog!!! Wow, I haven't thought of my blog in days....um...weeks, alright then...MONTHS, which after 12 of them, turns into a YEAR! So, that is how I got back to my blog today, this day! I wish I could say, that's IT. I am going to blog at least ONCE each week. Well, we'll see! Oh, I almost forgot! How would a person know that this blog is not being written by a Phlegmatic??? LOL, mostly because a Phlegmatic WOULD not have ever SET one up in the first place! It would take too much energy too do that. So, the difference in the Phleg and the Sang is the Sanguine will START something, but often not finish it. The Phlegmatic Never even starts. :)

2010-04-12T12:02:00.001-05:00

Personality Expert Writes Book For Parents
Mansfield encourages readers to embrace children’s distinct types

By Silver HogueStaff Writer

Marilyn Mansfield wants to educate parents about children’s unique personalities.
After 20 years as an elementary school teacher in Tennessee, Mississippi, and Arkansas, the Kessler Park resident said she became fascinated by the study of personality types.
“It has always been interesting to me how the kids would respond differently to different things, and how varied their work ethics are,” Mansfield said. Mansfield said she decided to become a “certified personality trainer” after she read books by Florence Littauer, an internationally known speaker who uses personality types in everything from marriage couseling to executive coaching. Mansfield said she began working toward her certification about three years ago, after attending one of Littauer’s weeklong seminars in New Mexico.
Since that time, Mansfield has hosted numerous personality seminars for local women’s organizations. Her studies also inspired her to write her first children’s book, Being Me, Being Free, which was released in June.
“My affection has always been toward children, and parents kept asking me if I had a book, so I decided to write one from the perspective of a school teacher,” Mansfield said.
The book is all based on the teachings of Littauer, who breaks down personalities into four groups: Sanguine, Melancholy, Phlegmatic, and Choleric.
Readers can test themselves to see which category they’re most like, and there are worksheets in the back of the book to help parents communicate better with their child’s particular personality.
“There are different words parents can use to motivate their child’s unique disposition,” Mansfield said. “It’s really fascinating. There is no right, wrong, good, or bad personality. We’re just all different. It’s a valuable resource to provide insight and knowledge into your child — why they act the way they do, what you can expect, and what not to expect out of them.”
Her husband, Stephen Mansfield, president and CEO of Methodist Health System, said understanding personalities is the key to successful relationships.
“In any relationship, whether it’s my relationship as CEO of a company with 6,500 employees, my relationship with my daughter, or my wife, the key is understanding yourself and your strengths and weaknesses,” he said. “It’s very clear to me that understanding ourselves in our relationships is advantageous.”
Mansfield said she hopes the book will encourage children to embrace their unique personalities and realize that it’s OK to be different.
“Discovering my God-given personality has been an interesting and exciting experience,” said Dee Freeman, a former colleague of Mansfield’s in Tennessee. “I can see different personality characteristics in my children, and that knowledge helps me to parent them in a way that is best for each one. It helps me in every area of life and has given me a patience with people that I don’t think I had before.”
E-mail silver.hogue@peoplenewspapers.com

Why can't I be like everyone else?

2010-04-12T11:45:00.002-05:00

Personality Types

God could have made us all Sanguines.We could have lots of fun

but accomplish little.

He could have made us all Melancholies.We would have been organized and charted

but not very cheerful.

He could have made us all Cholerics.We would have been set to lead,

but impatient that no one would follow!

He could have made us all Phlegmatics.We would have had a peaceful world

but not much enthusiasm for life.

We need each temperament for the total function of the body.

Each part should do its work to unify the action and produce harmonious results. -

Florence Littauer in The Gift of Encouraging Words

It is NOT a ONE SIZE FITS ALL world we live in!!

2010-03-20T12:39:00.006-05:00

My daughter is a darling girl. She is beautiful, kind, sweet, loving etc. etc. etc. Like the rest of us though, she has her own weaknesses. Her weaknesses happen to be the things that drive those close to her NUTS!!! The flip side of her wonderful loving sweet self is that she is more of a FREE Spirit...not highly motivated to perform at a rapid pace, does not like schedules or demands that might keep her from doing her "own" thing. She is also an "out of sight, out of mind" kind of girl. Time gets quickly away from her when she is enjoying time with a friend, on FB, or just Being....She often lives for the moment, doesn't stress over a mess and doesn't want anyone all up in her business. Now, you think, " how cool would it be to be so laid back and undemanding". Well, the thing that is NOT so cool about it is.........if you have a roommate, whether it be spouse, friend, sibling, mother, father etc. that is not at all like like my daughter. Personalities like my precious, sweet, little darling can really DRIVE YOU TO DISTRACTION if you don't understand what makes them tick and what ticks them off.

HOW??? WHY???

Here's the truth of the matter. :)

NEWS BREAK!! People are DIFFERENT!! HaHaHa. You say, "well, duh. We all know that".

Well, if we all KNOW that, then why do we ALL have so much trouble in our relationships???
Knowing and UNDERSTANDING are two different things!

So, here's the deal. My darling daughter has a college roommate. Her roommate is as cute and darling as my daugher. I love her dearly!!! But, these girls are SOOOOOOOOO Different.

The roommate is an Organized, prompt, get it done kind of girl. Roomie is also a planner and likes to know the details of the what, when, and where of things. Now, go back and read how I described my daughter. Do you see how there could be a problem here???

And Yes, there have been problems. My daughter STUFFS and her roommates ERUPTS...

Then comes the call, "Mom, I just don't know what to do"? dadadadadadadada

I listen. I listen some more. I smile. Then I say, "Sweetie, do you remember how Dad and I etc. etc. etc."

Actually, I am much more like her roommate. My daughter is much more like her Dad. So, I do a little reminding, a little comparing. Before long, she hangs up after our talk. I wait a few hours and text her something like this. "Well, how are things going"? Answer, "Oh Great, couldn't be better"? Me, "Well, what happened"? Daughter, "What are you talking about", Oh that, oh that was nothing".

I hang up. I smile again, and think to myself, "if we all had a true understanding of the Personalities, what we can expect from each other, and equipped with the tools of how to react according to all of our different "bents", there would be many more saying, "Oh... That was nothing".

The saying that "KNOWLEGE IS POWER" is so, so, so, so true. Knowledge is also freedom. Freedom to be yourself, but also freedom to let others be themselves too!!!

REMEMBER:
You CANNOT change another person. However, You CAN CHANGE your reactions toward another.
No one can MAKE you feel a certain way unless YOU allow them.

The ball is in YOUR court!! Play Smart.
Learn about the Personalities.

Study them:
Learn the Strengths and Weaknesses of each
Learn the Emotional Needs of Each
Give each what they need and you will be much more likely to get what you want.

A Better Relationship!!

Personality Styles in the Workplace

2010-03-04T21:47:00.003-06:00

Every person has a NATURAL role that he/she fits into best in a work setting. That is not to say it always works out that way. But, in order to enjoy fulfillment in your job, and for your work to be prime productive, your strengths need to match your job. So, let's examine Who does What best...When they are in the right position.

Popular Sanguine: Creative Person
This type personality would best fit in a position that has a diversity of tasks. Also, having interaction with people is a plus. Being able to have the option of being creative with some tasks is also a plus.

Powerful Choleric: Leadership Person
These individuals would rather be a chief than an Indian. They have the ability to "size up" a situation and know how to solve it. They can see the "bigger" picture. They are very productive and need a challenge to keep them motivated.

Perfect Melancholy: Detail Person
These individuals LOVE details and accuracy. They are great at planning and details. They do not mind being alone and working quietly. Actually, they NEED quiet and lack of distraction. They are great organizers.

Peaceful Phlegmatics: Support Person
These individuals are the most versatile of all the personality types. They are the "peacemakers" in any position. They are pleasers and will do what they are told to do, but may need very specific directions and also may need motivation such as encouragement and praise. They do not mind mundane jobs that others may find boring or distasteful. They are agreeable and easy to work with.

Capturing Hearts

2010-02-25T23:25:00.003-06:00

I just returned from a wonderful three day seminar called "Capturing Kids Hearts". It is geared toward equipping teachers with tools to help manage their classrooms and alleviate discipline problems. The trainer was awesome. She really knew her stuff. All of the info. she gave was so valuable. Yet, if the attendees do not implement what they/we learned it will have been in vain. The seminar began with a day long of teambuilding...activities which bond the group together. This was done in order to model how important it is in a classroom to be a "team". Also, we were reminded over and over that without real, genuine care and concern for the kids we have in classrooms, then we can't really TEACH them. As Flip Flippen, the author of the Seminar states, You have to reach a kid's heart before you can reach their Head...and teach them.
I was reminded of how it is the same with PERSONALITIES. Unless you understand a person....esp. their emotional needs, you can't really LOVE them. Love includes sacrifice. That includes: time and effort. So, find out what makes your loved ones Tick....and find out what Ticks them OFF. Study them, learn to read them...then give them what they NEED. Fill their buckets with "emotional "
miracle grow, and you'll be surprised what will BLOSSOM before your eyes.

How do you do this?
Visible Clues. Watch, look, listen...

If they are loud, talkative, fun, outgoing etc. They are most likely
Playful Sanguine
Give them: Attention, Affection, Approval

If they are Leaders, risk takers, demanding, take charge. They are most likely
Powerful Choleric
Give them: Loyalty, Appreciation, Credit for hard work

If they are Detail oriented, list-makers, organizers, They are most likely
Perfect Melancholy
Give them: Sensitivity, Space, Silence, Support

If they are Laid back, not motivated, difficult to get going, relaxed. They are most likely: Peaceful Phlegmatic
Give them: Peace and Quiet, lack of stress, feelings of worth

Emotional needs are as important as air and water. A person must have them to thrive. Without the emotional needs met, a person can exist, but not THRIVE.

Thoughts to Ponder

2010-02-19T23:23:00.000-06:00

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~e.e. cummings, 1955

He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. ~Raymond Hull

God has given you one face, and you make yourself another. ~William Shakespeare

All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself. ~Ralph Ellison, "Battle Royal"

Quotes About Being Me

2010-02-19T23:07:00.002-06:00

2010-02-04T21:30:00.002-06:00

Who Can Read Minds???

Anyone who is around 50 years old...(ouch!!!!) may possibly remember the "Tammy" movie...with Doris Day and Rock Hudson. In this movie Tammy is soooooo in love and at one point she sings this song that says, "I wish that I knew if he knew what I'm dreaming of"....and then it goes on to say...."Tammy's in LOVE." Well, that part of the line is not relevant to this post. lol Anyway, the point is, we really can't read another person's mind....but, we can be given "tools" that help us to "read" their personality. If we can figure out another's "personality", or "Behavioural Pattern", then we can almost begin to know what another person is thinking...and how he/she will react in various situations.

We call this technique: Using "Visible" Clues to help us identify what a person's dominate personality style is. Simply by observing how a person dresses: are they stylish, traditional, tailored, or casual. How do they interact with others? Are they the "Tell it all" type, or are they quiet and reserved, or maybe, they are the kind who "know it all" in every conversation, or maybe, they simply just observe and say nothing, but smile inwardly at all that is going on around them.

Whatever the personality one is, there is a "perferred" way of communicating. If you learn to communicate with a person on their "elevator" floor, you'll be amazed at how much more harmonious your relationships, whether personal or professional . So take the time to do a little research. Learn about your own Personality Communication Style and then learn to communicate with others according to their Communication Styles.

2010-01-21T02:29:00.001-06:00

Understanding Your Loved Ones

Your fun loving, out-going girl:
Realize she needs lots of people around
Recognize she thrives on new, creative activities
Understand that she will seek affection and attention, regardless of the consequences
Laugh with her and enjoy life together

Your serious, deep thinking girl:
Appreciate her ability to analyze everything
Understand she flees noisy, chaotic situations
Provide her a place of her own
Recognize her need for order and neatness
Accept her desire to not discuss her feelings

Your natural born leader:
Realize she doesn't need 'babying'
Provide something she can control
Recognize she thrives on projects, not relationships
Appreciate her ability to organize and accomplish her goals
Help her learn tact and diplomacy

Your calm, quiet peacemaker:
Spell out details on her responsibilities
Allow her time to rest and relax
Realize that she flees conflict and stress
Help her find an area of interest where she can excel
Understand she shows happiness in a reserved manner

What changes are you willing to make to enhance your relationships? How can you adjust your approach to create connections that count? What expectations of others will you change? by: Ruth Crow (reprinted)

2009-10-06T22:42:00.002-05:00

It was so much fun...plus an honor to get to spend with with Florence Littauer...THE MOTHER OF PERSONALITIES, in Fort Worth. This lady is truly a remarkable woman. One who is willing to share her knowledge and experience with the world, all because she cares and knows that learning about the Personalities makes such a difference in peoples' lives!!!!

2009-10-06T22:26:00.002-05:00

I am involved in a Bible Study each Tuesday called "A Mother's Heart". It is targeted to mothers who are still in the "child-rearing" stages of their lives. Each week the mothers share their stories of triumphs...(potty training successes etc.) and tragedies (sibling rivilary etc.) More and more and more, I am convinced that in order to parent successfully, the child must be dealt with according to his distinctive personality. A one size fits all parenting style does not lead to successful, well-adjusted children. What makes one child "shout for joy" may cause another to "want to crawl under the carpet". So, I encourage you to STUDY your child...discover what motivates and what DEFLATES them...Feed their emotional garden with the proper food...(encouragement, recognition, fun, peaceful environment etc.) whatever fits them best...and watch your child GROW...as a result of what you SOW into their lives.

2009-09-19T21:46:00.002-05:00

I had fun presenting "The Personalities" to a group of Administrative Assistants recently. I received a card through the mail expressing appreciation for the presentation. Along with the thank-you...was this quote: "I can't wait to apply the gift you gave us. My husband will be putty in my hands."
This comment was funny, but SO TRUE. Learning to communicate from the "listener's" perspective can change relationships...(for the better) almost instantly.

Perscription for Communication Success

l. Learn to identify individual
personality types by observing:

a. Visible Clues

(what you see)

b. Variable Clues
(what you observe)

2. Apply as Needed:
a. Valuable Clues (emotional needs)

3. Enjoy meaningingful communication!!!

2009-09-11T23:58:00.000-05:00

My Sanguine self......with my Phlegmatic daughter and Choleric hubby!!!

LIFE...after the BEACH!!!

2009-08-17T22:34:00.003-05:00

You've got to love God's sense of humor.

And he indeed has one. Why else would he have created us so differently, yet expect us to live in harmony with one another? It's like the old song lyrics, "Some days are diamonds, some days are STONE". The diamond days are the ones where we can "look beyond" the behaviors of others and "consciously" reason within ourselves why "he or she" acted "such and such" way! The STONE days are the ones where we are "paralyzed" by another person's behavior. We simply CANNOT get past the behavior...itself. It leaves us totally Frustrated, Irritated, or just plain ANGRY. It is during these times that the understanding of the personalities can save us from a lot of frustration and strife. For example...After spending a week at the beach with my daughter, her friend, and one of my friends, we return back home to Dallas. My "hunk of burning love" was left alone for the week to care for himself...all alone!!! Well, I wish he would have struggled with this plight of being LEFT ALL ALONE. But, NO!!! Guess why??? He's CHOLERIC. Cholerics are FINE....and I do mean FINE being left alone. They are totally self-sufficient. They do not need other people to "talk to". Well, after a week at the beach I was full of information that I NEEDED to tell my hubby. So, when we got home...he greeted us at the door; helped us unload the car, asked, "how was the trip?" and before I could even answer he was off to "doing his own thing".
Now, years before in my marriage I would have smoldered for days and maybe even weeks with that seemingly "lack of interest" in me, his bride. However, I now, KNOW and can PREDICT with usually 100% accuracy what his reaction will be toward me when he has not seen me for one week or one year, it will always be the same. No surprises from the Choleric!! He is just not an emotional personality...His love and interest in me is just as great as the Sanguine guy who "can't get enough" of his wife after she has been gone for a week. It just happens that I married the CHOLERIC. Besides that........He's a great provider. I never have to worry if I am going to have food to eat or clothes to wear.....unlike Mr. Sanguine who spent all of his money while his wife was at the beach!!! Uh...well, I, myself am Sanguine...and I must admit, I spent some MONEY at the beach!!! Well, my Choleric husband hasn't gotten the credit card bill yet. Maybe that can be another post for another time. Arrrrhhhhh.....I hope he remembers how sweet I am and how much FUN I had at the beach!!! LOL

School DAZE Personalities

2009-08-06T01:14:00.004-05:00

There's no better place to see The Personalities in play than at WAL-MART.

It's time to shop for school supplies. Mom is already worn out before she gets to Wally with the kids. They rush over to the School Supply aisle...and HERE you see the REAL personality of children in ACTION.

Playful Sanguine: looks for "cute" stuff...fun, decorative cover, and bright colors...so happy to be getting ready for school....excited...chatting with others about all the "cool" items available.

Powerful Choleric: Hurry up!!! Just get it...I need PAPER, PENCILS, MARKERS...that's all...that's fine!! Let's GO....I have things to do!!!

Perfect Melancholy: Looks at every item very careful. Examines the notebooks and checks to see how many pages in each. Makes sure the pencils and the pens are the EXACT thing requested on the school supply list. Checks and rechecks to see if everything is in the basket that was on the list. Goes back and checks ONE MORE time... just to MAKE SURE...everything is PERFECT.

Peaceful Phlegmatic: Leaning on the shopping basket. Says to mother, "I don't care just get something. It doesn't matter." While mom is picking out' everything...Peaceful Phlegmatic is "observing" what everyone else is doing...and is Actually, quite Content doing so!!!

The way a person is wired "shows up" in everything he/she does. Whether it is shopping for school supplies or groceries...The REAL personality is always there...prompting the individual to: Have a good time, hurry up, being very careful and deliberate, or Who cares..WHATEVER....

Personalities at Play Today

2009-07-28T13:51:00.001-05:00

If you've had a chance to read Being Me, Being Free, you know it deals with four distinct personality types:

Playful Sanguine
Powerful Choleric
Perfect Melancholy
Peaceful Phlegmatic

I witness these everyday -- and I'm sure you do too.

For instance, last night, as soon as my daughter Meredith got home from her summer job working at a children's camp, she was ready for a crash session. Working with those children all day drains her physically and mentally. I, on the other hand, had been home all day and was looking forward to a run to the mall. My Playful Sanguine personality allows me to go, go, go and the more I'm around people, the more energized I become. Meredith, my Peaceful Phlegmatic, needs downtime after a long period of human exposure -- aka elementary aged kids at church day camp! So what did we do? Did we make it to the mall? Did we retreat to separate rooms?

What I've learned from my years as a teacher and from my training on personality profiling, led to a compromise. Meredith got to veg out in front of the TV for a while, got a bite to eat, and refueled. After about an hour, I brought up the subject of an outing to the mall. She reluctantly relented and three hours later, when we arrived home from the mall, we were both in good moods and actually got something accomplished that she had been putting off (getting a much needed new pair of glasses)!

Moral of the story/teachable moment: Peaceful Phlegmatics must have downtime, especially after a long day at work or school. Playful Sanguines have to realize that not everyone can run like the Energizer bunny and not everyone needs human interaction 24-7. So watch out for those people in your life who need to withdraw for periods of time. It's not that they're depressed and it's not personal -- it's just how they're wired.

2009-07-03T07:49:00.000-05:00

Check out this Website to find out about your personality...its strengths and weaknesses. It's free!!
OneIshy.com

2009-07-03T05:15:00.000-05:00

2009-07-03T02:16:00.001-05:00

My books are HERE. You can order directly from me...or online from BarnesandNoble.com, Amazon.com, or Target.com I am very excited!!! The profile pic is me along with my daughter, Meredith Grace. Meredith was the inspiration behind my book, Being Me, Being Free. She, more than anyone else, has helped me to realize we are who we are because that is how we were born -- wired!! Accepting ourselves and others for who we were created to be is very freeing, for ourselves and others. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Our goal should be to discover our strengths and work to increase them which will, at the same time, help decrease our weaknesses!!! I hope my book will inspire and motivate you and others to begin a journey of discovery about yourself and your loved ones, co-workers, and even acquaintances.

Understanding this arms you with more power to be the best you can be, along with allowing others to be who they were created to be!!!

There is a very practical quiz/checklist, at the end of the book. Have fun discussing this with your child while discovering more about him or her. There is also more valuable info at the end of the book that will provide tips for how to more effectively communicate with others so they will better "HEAR" what you are trying to say.

New Book!

2009-04-23T16:29:00.000-05:00

Thanks for checking out my blog. My bookwas just published and is available in stores worldwide. I'm so excited! It's called "Being Me, Being Free" and is perfect for classroom or home settings. Click on the cover image in order to purchase the book at amazon.com! I'll post more soon!